Lost in Transit – A short story

[Transcript of laboratory 15 voice recorder during first human teleportation trial]

[Doctor James Hanover] Ok, Mister Johnson, please have a seat here, while the technicians get things finalised.
[Harry Johnson] No problem.
[Hanover] While they’re getting ready, let me just run through the procedure again. I know you signed the consent documents, but just to cover the main points…
[Johnson] Sure thing.
[Hanover] Great. So, when we pull the switch, a 3D scan will be taken of your full atomic structure. Your body will then be atomised and a perfect copy created in the chair that you can see on the other side of the laboratory.
[Johnson] You won’t forget that second part, will you?
[Hanover] *laughs* I assure you, we won’t. We have had hundreds of successful trials with rats, dogs… even a gorilla. All came through perfectly fine.
[Sally Jenkins] Everything is prepped Doctor Hanover.
[Hanover] Thanks, Sally. Now, just to be clear, Mister Johnson, the copy that appears at the other end won’t technically be you. It will be identical to you… not even your mother would be able to tell the difference…
[Johnson] What about my wife?
[Hanover] Or her. I just want to be sure you fully understand the implications.
[Johnson] Look, Doc, I was never one for weird metaphysical debates… you’re paying me well, I’m going to be the first man to ever teleport… as long as I can go back to my family afterwards, we’re good.
[Hanover] Super. In that case, just sit back, relax and we’ll see you again in a few moments. Sally, start the process.
[Jenkins] Process started. 3D scan compiling now.
[Barry Smith] Power levels nominal, no spikes.
[Jenkins] Scan compiled. Proceeding.
* Audible popping noise, caused by disintegration of Harry Johnson. *
[Smith] All levels still optimal.
[Hanover] *inaudible muttering*
[Jenkins] Production of subject copy beginning. He’s looking good… and… process complete.
* Cheers and general shouting from laboratory staff.*
[Hanover] Congratulations, Mister Johnson, you’ve just made history. How are you feeling?
[Hanover] Mister Johnson?
* Sounds of rapid movement and equipment being shifted *
[Jenkins] Breathing and pulse normal… blood pressure one ten over seventy.
[Smith] Starting atomic scan for comparison.
[Hanover] There must be something we’ve missed.
* More sounds of equiment use *
[Jenkins] EEG shows normal brain activity. Nervous system and reflex responses are as expected.
[Smith] Atomic scan shows a match, pre and post transfer. Differences are easily within expected limits for the time passed.
[Jenkins] There’s nothing wrong with him, Doctor Hanover… he’s just not doing anything.
[Hanover] Well, shit.

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