As has become traditional at this time of year, I have made a few predictions about the year ahead.
January – Just like 2014, nothing sufficiently memorable will happen to make this any easier next year.
February – Hornby fights back with a Meccano movie, but it’s harder to understand than the Lego one and not as fun.
March – The first gay wedding anniversaries occur in the UK… all straight husbands are utterly put to shame.
April – Second royal baby is born, but I’ve already made the joke about it being called Peppa, so I’ve got nothing.
May – Psy’s latest release fails to receive record numbers of Youtube views, as everyone is too busy watching a cat playing the saxophone.
June – The Count is banned from the next nine episodes of Sesame Street for biting.
July – The Church of England repeals its decision to allow female bishops after congregations complain that sermons have become too long.
August – The latest charity craze comes under fire, as a lot of people are just stabbing themselves with ice picks and not actually donating any money.
September – Alaska votes to not to become independent of the US.
October – Tim Cook wakes up to find Bono playing on his iPad… he is not pleased.
November – Another Band Aid single is released because some artists “felt left out of the last one”.
December – The first Silmarillion film is released. Fans of the book are angry about the new romantic subplot between Feanor and Morgoth.