We’re going on a beer hunt

The promised “Top 5 Opening Sequences” is mostly written, but this popped into my head while I was walking my son to the shops.

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to buy a six pack
What a beautiful night
We’re not sober

Uh oh… a road.
A big, main road.
Can’t go over it, can’t go under it.
We’ll have to go across it.
Go! Wait! Ok, go! No! Run! That was close.

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to buy a six pack
What a beautiful night
We’re not sober

Uh oh… a park
A really awesome park.
Can’t go over it, can’t go under it.
We’ll have to go through it.
Slide! Swings! Wheeeee! Wait, what were we doing? The beer! Focus lads, focus!

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to buy a six pack
What a beautiful night
We’re not sober

Uh oh… a hen party.
A really drunken hen party.
Can’t go over it, can’t go under it.
We’ll have to go through it.
Act cool! Act cool! Evening ladies. Hey! Oooh! Right, who pinched my ass?

We’re going on a beer hunt
We’re going to buy a six pack
What a beautiful night
We’re not sober

Uh oh… an off-license
A dingy, over-priced off-licence.
Can’t go over it, can’t go under it.
We’ll have to go into it.
Browsing, browsing, browsing… what’s that!?

One set of plastic rings,
Six glistening cans,
Twelve units of alcohol…
BEER!

Back out of the off-license! (Paying, paying.)
Back through the hen party! (Hands to yourself!)
Back through the park! (Ok, just one more go.)
Back across the road! (Hey, I’m walking here!)
Get to the front door,
Have trouble opening it,
Up the stairs,
Forgot to lock the front door,
&£$@ the front door,
Into the bedroom,
Into bed.
We’re not going on a beer hunt again (Asda delivers).

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