As predicted in my last post, I was forced to listen to the Frozen soundtrack numerous times on the journeys to and from my sister’s wedding. In addition to Let It Go, my wife is also a big fan of Fixer-Upper (which is the one where the trolls list all of Kristoff’s faults); this quickly became known as Daddy’s song, as my wife attempted to ascribe to me all the faults of a fictional Scandanavian. Those you you who know me will know that I don’t take this kind of thing sitting down (though, given I was driving at the time, I was forced to do so in the literal sense) and I quickly decided that if the song was “about me”, it might as well actually be about me, sans quotation marks. Here is the result; new words, obviously set to the original tune…
Is it the geeky games he plays?
Or that he’s rubbish with birthdays?
Or that he drinks milk from the bowl, just like a cup?
And though he does his best to clean,
His effort’s difficult to see,
But at least he’s pretty handy with the washing up.
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper; so he’s got a few blights.
Like his penchant for long words,
Or making up song words,
That violate various copyrights.
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper, but this we’re certain of,
You can fix this fixer upper up with a little bit of love.
Nathanael: Thank goodness for “fair use” or I’d really be in trouble.
Is it his lack of frequent shaving?
Or his childish misbehaving?
Or the fact he snores each time he gets a cold?
And we know you like to whinge,
About how he made Isaac ginger,
But you are the only one with whom he would grow old.
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper; so he’s got a few kinks.
Like his geekyish essence
Peculiar dress sense,
He doesn’t care what nobody thinks.
He’s a bit of a fixer upper; but we know what to do.
The way to fix this fixer upper is to fix him up with you.
Nathanael: Hang on a second… why is this song all about me? Dawn’s not perfect, you know!
So she’s a bit of a fixer upper, she’s not such a swizz.
There’s a number of factors
She’s rubbish with actors,
Although she knows who Hugh Jackman is.
So she’s a bit of a fizer upper, though to say, he doesn’t dare.
Cos right now he’s in her good books and he’d like to stay right there.
We’re not saying you can change him, cos people don’t really change.
You’d prob’ly best accept the fact, he’ll always be quite strange.
But there is one advantage that he has above the rest,
You’ll always win your arguments, cos he knows you know best.
So he’s a bit of a fixer upper, a father strong and proud.
Optimus, Frodo, Caprica, Drogo; these were the names that weren’t allowed.
So he’s a bit of fixer upper, his fav’rite story’s of…
Miracles and fighting, fencing,
Torture, giants, monsters, chases
And true, true, true, true, true…
Love, love, love, love, love…
Impressive Clergy-troll: Mawwaige!
Dawn: Ok I’m lost now.
Impressive Clergy-troll: It’s from the Princess Bride, dear.