A classic tale that I’ve rewritten for those, like me, who actually like Christmas, but hate the heat.
All the Whos down in Whoville liked summer a lot.
The Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville did not.
The Grinch hated summer, the whole summer season.
Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be his shoes made his feet get too hot.
Or his need to wear suncream when he’d rather he not.
But I think that the reason will probably prove,
To be that in summer it’s too hot to move.
Whatever the reason, the cream or his shoes,
He spent his bank holiday hating the Whos.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the wide open windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who that lived round and about,
Was busy now, getting their barbecues out.
“And they’re setting out deck chairs!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Those stripey, cliche ones, I see them from here!”
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop summer from coming!”
For shortly, he knew, in each town and each street,
The Whos would emerge with their flip-flopping feet,
And then they would all start enjoying the heat.
That’s one thing he hated! The HEAT!
HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who summer fun,
The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop everyone!”
“Why, for thirty-five years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop this summer from coming! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch merrily brayed.
And he started to build an enormous sun shade.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “Now it’s my turn for fun!”
“With this massive obstruction, I’ll block out the sun!
(And because it will be on a hill to the east,
I can skip all the stuff down in Whoville, at least.)”
It was quarter past dawn… All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze, when he quitted his shed,
Packed the shade on a truck, with its struts and its beams.
Bags of bolts, nuts and rivets, bursting all at the seams.
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Cildit!
He rode with his load and he started to build it.
“PoohPooh to the Whos!” he was grinchishly humming.
“They’re about to find out that no summer is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound in the dim morning light,
With the shade in its place, the sun no longer bright.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small.
Was still having fun with no sunscreen at all.
He HADN’T stopped summer from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet surprisingly cool,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “Was he such a fool?”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
He made a connection, not previously made…
“If I don’t like the sun, I can sit in the shade.”
And what happened then? Well, he tore down his build,
And the valley below was with bright sunlight filled!
For the Grinch had at last found his own summer groove.
He sits square in the shade and he tries not to move.